I never thought I would say this but over the last few months, I have changed beyond recognition. Before the Coronavirus lockdown, I was anxious, full of self-loathing, I could go on with a list but I won’t! Why I hear everyone ask? Why would I continue the barrage of self hate I have carried around with me for, well all of my life!
My Face LOL!
Well, it is because I am sick of hearing myself putting myself down! As if it isn’t bad enough fearing that everyone else is putting me down, then why would I do it to myself. So when lockdown began it did not start well. Somedays I could barely be bothered to get out of bed. As the days and then weeks wore on something began to change.
I was getting up at a regular time and setting myself daily tasks, whether it was simple household chores or updating The Go To Girls Blog website. Somedays I would get all the things done and others I would literally get one job done. The difference was within me! I stopped punishing myself for not doing everything I had listed for myself.
I thought of it like this – at least if I did one thing today then it was one more thing than I had been doing in the previous days. You see one of the problems I had been facing was self-inflicted, I was expecting too much from myself. Everything had to be done there and then and nothing could wait until tomorrow. What kind of life was I leading myself to live!
I had lived with all of these largely self-inflicted problems for so long and I did not know how to change them. Then I realised like any behaviour that was unwanted all I needed to do was change it! Wow, that sounds like a HUGE task. It was/still is! BUT I am working on it every day and am also taking every day as it comes. If its a good day – great! If it’s not so good then that’s ok too!
Now I have made myself feel better and started to modify my own behaviour I have taking to channelling my energy into a positive form. I have taken up a few new hobbies which are relevant to helping me with making The Go To Girls Blog an ENORMOUS SUCCESS.
The Go To Girls Blog Life Goes Worldwide
To name a few I have taken to teaching myself firstly to CODE. For those of you who do not know what this is, I am teaching myself to “take instructions and translate them into a language a computer understands”. In human language learning to speak and write in computer language!
Another skill I have taken up is learning a new language (well, three actually) I am learning, Spanish, Latin and Japanese! I know it is a real mash-up of languages. I took a look at Hebrew but thought it was better to start with something slightly easier.
The realisation I had of not making my own life so hard has made me think differently about life and subsequently changed my life and how I think of it. This resulted in a huge change in my life and I actually feel like I am unrecognisable from myself three months ago. You know what I say to this revelation!
IT IS ABOUT TIME! & THANK YOU!
As I said I barely recognise myself but this is an amazing thing and I am going to make sure I keep it up. I even have a daily schedule for myself which I am putting the final touches on as we speak. It is flexible though and dependant on the “good/bad day occurrences”.
As we speak now I am back to loving being me
Watch out for more regular posts from today
WE ARE BAAAAACK!!!